His story shows the difference
between life within the Watchtower and the life of one
consecrated to Christ).
My
background
The desire to learn about God first
clearly surfaced when I was about eight years old. I was
introduced to the Jehovah's Witnesses around 1954 when my
mother began to study with a local Witness, Sister
Murphy. From these studies I can, even today, vividly
remember that I felt I was specially privileged to be
learning about Jehovah's 'truth.' Even though I missed
most of my mother's study, since I was in school at the
time it was held, the little that I heard spurred me on
to study Watchtower literature on my own.
Soon I began regularly attending
the Kingdom Hall with my mother and brother. Although
much of it was beyond the ability of an eight-year old to
comprehend, the Witnesses were very kind and helped me
progress in my knowledge of what I then thought was a
knowledge of the Bible. From that time until about the
early 1970s, I was a staunchly devoted Jehovah's
Witnesses. Although I never had a personal study with
another Witness, the usual route to membership, I
progressed rapidly in the 'truth' through my own reading
and study and was baptized in 1960 at the age of
15.
Growing up as a Witness, I
experienced the unique problems that all Witnesses face
in school. When other students stood to sing the national
anthem, several asked why I didn't stand and sing. I
explained, as well as I could, that, since I was a member
of Jehovah's Kingdom, allegiance to any other kingdom
(even just the singing of another kingdom's national
anthem) was so wrong that this act may well result in the
loss of my life at Armageddon. Some of my classmates
correctly concluded that I was only following my
conscience, and was not deliberately disrespectful. Many
persons, though, clearly disliked me because of my
religion and made their feelings crystal clear to
me.
I had many conversations with
fellow students trying to help them understand what I
believed at the time were God's laws. I felt it was a
privilege to discuss the Bible with classmates. Although
I did not realize it then, I was actually often
discussing 'Watchtower' teachings that did not always
agree with Bible teachings. I became known at school as
'The Preacher' and 'Bible Bergman' and found that,
although some students respected me for my religious
beliefs, many relished mocking me.
At about age 12 I joined the
Watchtower Ministry School. I can vividly remember how
excited I was preparing for my first talk (sermon). Years
later I have given scores of talks for the Watchtower. I
have also been a book study conductor, a Ministry School
Overseer, and have taken on the duties of the Assistant
Overseer. For over twenty years, I tried to help anyone I
came in contact with to come to an 'accurate
understanding' of what then I believed was God's will.
When someone I was helping became a Witness, I was
ebullient. Always thirsting for more knowledge, I often
quickly devoured each Watchtower and Awake! as soon as it
arrived in the mail.
During my high school years I
became very close to a local devout Witness family. They
often drove me to the meetings, encouraged me in the
'faith,' and helped me through my turbulent adolescent
years. I was especially close to one of their three
children, Bob, who was a year younger than I. The family,
which was financially comfortable, was looked up to by
the rest of the congregation.
My mother was not a model Witness,
partly because of the strong opposition that she received
from my father and, later, after their divorce, she had
to work full time and take care of us children. Although
my dad once attended some meetings and briefly studied
Witness beliefs, he concluded they were wrong. While we
were at home, neither of my two brothers were fully
committed to the Witness beliefs, although my younger
brother was raised around the witnesses. Without strong
support from my mother, I was alone in my family as the
vocal Watchtower proponent.
My father was raised by various
relatives and never had the security of two parents and a
home to call his own. He still moved from place to place
after reaching adulthood, partly because his lack of
education limited his ability to find a good paying job.
When I was small, we were fairly poor and were forced to
move several times. This caused some insecurity in us
kids. However, determined to make himself better, after
he married my father completed high school and,
eventually, earned a BS degree in electrical engineering.
Finally able to leave the slums of Detroit, we built a
house in a semi-rural area called Royal Oak where crime
was lower. There, for the first time in my life, I was
able to savor the beauty of the fields, trees, birds, and
other wild life. My father's struggle convinced him that
his sons should attend college to avoid being trapped in
insecure low-paying jobs as he once had been.
When I finished high school, as a
zealous dedicated Watchtowerite my desire to continue my
schooling was suppressed (the Watchtower then strongly
discouraged higher education). Instead, my goal then was
to be a full-time Pioneer, and, eventually, a
writer/researcher for the Society at Bethel. Also, I was
going with a Witness girl who would only marry a Pioneer,
and so I became what was then known as a 'Vacation
Pioneer.' My father somewhat resigned himself to my
becoming a full-time Watchtower PioneerÙalways
with the encouragement that I would attend college later.
I also worked for a time in a cabinet shop as a cabinet
maker to save money for this goal. However, my first
entry into the adult working world confronted me with the
immorality and godlessness exhibited by my
coworkers.
Sex, presented in a vile and
revolting manner, was the obsessive topic of my
coworkers' conversations at the cabinet shop. One good
looking man with seven children bragged daily about the
women he seduced (raped was often more accurate). On a
huge wall in front of where I worked were what seemed
every nude pinup girl from Playboy dating back to 1956.
When my coworkers found out about my own inexperience
with sex, they teased me unmercifully. Finally, I had to
leave this line of work.
Field service was very rewarding
for me, partially because I enjoyed talking to people and
was convinced that I was helping them to understand God's
purposes, a most important activity. I was always active
in both the organized door-to-door and impromptu
Witnessing. Although I sincerely wanted to serve God full
time, I found it difficult to work with the eleven other
Pioneers in my congregation. Most were immature,
efficient, and looked for any possible excuse to stop
doing what we were supposed to do. Often 'lunch' took two
hours. Of the eleven Pioneers I started with, most stayed
on for less than a year (one later went to Bethel, the
Watchtower headquarters, for three years and one to the
Kingdom Farm for several years).
A final blow came when my
girlfriend married another Pioneer. I felt betrayed and
deserted. Her actions (and those of the other Pioneers I
knew) disillusioned me about Jehovah's 'servants.'
Depression soon reared its ugly head, and some Witnesses
suggested professional counseling. Most, though, were
against this.
Discouraged by my unsuccessful
efforts as a Pioneer, I briefly discussed with the
Witness 'servants' (now called elders) about returning to
school. Since they supported the Watchtower admonition
that children should respect their parents' wishes as
long as they live in the parent's home, they encouraged
me to obey my father's wishes and return to college. Five
years later, in the March 1st 1970 Watchtower, the
Society finally formalized this once minority
view:
If a father wishes that his son go
to college but the son would rather spend his time in the
Christian Ministry, what should he do? He should explain
his desire to his father and it may be that his father
may contest for him to spend all his time in the
ministry. If not he is obliged to submit to the wishes of
his father until he reaches the legal age, and as long as
he lives in his father's house. His father has the right
to decide on his education (p. 156).
The August 1, 1970 Watchtower p.
479 added: ' . . . how long should a child go to school?
. . . the parents must decide that. Proverbs 6:20-32,
Eph. 5: 22-24.'
I discussed my educational future
with my 'adopted' Witness family, and they, too
encouraged me to return to school. Both of them were
college graduates, and they said that they would
encourage their sons to attend college. Their youngest
son has now completed a medical degree and their older
son, a graduate of the University of Florida, is a
well-known playwright (none are now Witnesses). In
addition, several brothers in my congregation had college
degrees, and two had graduate degrees. Partly because of
these members, the congregation gave me partial approval
(I later found that other congregations were not so
tolerant of education).
I soon enrolled in a new community
college close to home. This opened to me a totally
different world from the congregation life, and even from
my high school days. My attitude towards school now
changed radically and I relished learning and growing in
knowledge of the world around me. Once I was again in
school my emotional stability and my relationships with
others improved greatly. Ironically, my commitment to the
Watchtower also improved. Yet, the feeling that my time
in school was taking away from Jehovah's service still
nagged me. My response to this conflict was a resolve to
increase my spiritual knowledge along with my secular
knowledge and also to improve in my ministry as I
progressed in school. For this reason, I completed
classes at the local community college that I believed
would help me in my ministry, such as history, sociology,
and psychology.
I took my education very seriously,
being sure to take 'worldly' education in perspective
with Jehovah's education at the Kingdom Hall. I was, in
fact, more conscientious than I had been in high school,
attending all of the Watchtower meetings and diligently
pursuing my Kingdom service duties. I enjoyed college and
was pleasantly surprised to find that some students
seemed very interested in learning. The environment at
college was completely different from the decadent world
that I had left behind at the cabinet shop. Although I
got along well with most all of my fellow students, I had
few close friends during my first year in college. I soon
met several other Witness students at college, and often
associated almost exclusively with other
Witnesses.
I later transferred to Wayne State
University. One Witness I got to know at the university
was an assistant congregational servant. I used to study
the Watchtower and read the Bible with him, and sometimes
he would work on the congregational paperwork in the
university cafeteria. In-between classes we would
'witness' to our fellow college students. We had several,
at times heated, discussions with our fellow
students.
As part of my history study, I read
Early Christianity by Roland Bainton and Ur of the
Chaldeans by Sir Leonard Wooley. In my first four years
in college, much critical of religion was covered which
only strengthen my convictions as a Witness (Witnesses
are very critical of every religion except their own).
Information in my history classes about the abuses
perpetrated by the Catholic and Protestant churches
throughout history reinforced Watchtower teachings. The
crimes of the Inquisition, the Reformation, and the
Counter-Reformation gave me the ammunition I needed to
conclude that Christendom was not following God as the
Watchtower taught. As a result of Christendom's apostacy,
the Watchtower taught, God had rejected them and had
instituted a 'new organization 'the Watchtower' in these
last days to bring his pure truth to the world. I only
heard a few professors regularly criticize the Bible
itself. One professor who had repeatedly criticized the
Bible, I later found out, was related to a Witness and
was friends with others.
In spite of my encouraging
experiences in school, I still had guilt about 'taking
time from Jehovah's work.' Many Witnesses criticized me,
some even predicting that my secular education would
sooner or later convince me to believe in evolution (It
did eventually, but that is another story).
After I left the Witnesses, I
learned that a big difference exists between Churchianity
and Christianity between true believers and those who
associate themselves with the church to further their own
goals while never actually committing themselves to
Christ. Unfortunately, many people join cults (or even
reject God altogether) in protest against these
pseudo-Christians. My secular education, in the end,
helped me to see that objective science, especially in
physics, biology, and psychology, positively affirms the
existence of a Creator. My professors vividly
demonstrated how the design and order in the universe
inexorably pointed to a Master Designer, God.
After graduation, I began teaching
school and was soon appointed to what was then known as a
'servant' in my congregation. However, after I started
teaching, my family moved and we began attending another
congregation. I soon learned that the new congregation
had very negative attitudes towards secular education.
When some of these Witnesses learned that I had been to
college, they became very critical of me. One Witness
sister even stated that I should be disfellowshiped for
going to college ('stealing time from Jehovah', as she
put it).
In spite of these criticisms, with
much effort I was eventually accepted by the new
congregation and soon became active in giving talks,
going out in service (averaging about twenty hours per
month), conducting home Bible studies, conducting the
Watchtower study at the Kingdom Hall, and developing many
Witness friendships. I often visited other congregations,
giving hour talks working at assemblies and helping
others via shepherding calls, and helping people into
what I then thought was the 'truth.'
Opposition to
College
As noted, a major conflict I had
with the Watchtower was over education. The example of a
young Witness friend of mine, Robert, illustrates the
harmful and dangerous attitudes of most Witnesses towards
education then (they are less opposed to education now,
but many individual Witnesses still oppose all schooling
beyond high school). Robert was an extremely intelligent
young man with a great aptitude for physics, calculus,
and most math-oriented sciences. After he graduated form
high school, he was very interested in continuing his
education. His mother, a Witness, forbid him to attend
college, although he did complete a short, expensive
course in computers.
Robert then began working in a drug
wholesale house, assigned to the computer-programming
department. I knew he was skilled in the computer area,
so I asked him to help me with a computer program for my
Ph.D. work. After we finished the program, I asked him to
meet me at the university so we could try it out. Robert
became so enthusiastic about the university's computer
degree programs that he stayed for several hours talking
to the computer engineers there. A short time later
Robert told me that he had quit his job and wanted to
enroll at the university so that he could complete a
degree in computer programming!
Robert, a sincere, dedicated
Witness, had a difficulties due to his extremely high
aptitude in one area (science and math) and low skills in
other areas (socially). His heavy work schedule prevented
him from spending the quality time in which he could
study the Society's publications and join in with other
Witnesses for Saturday house-to-house work. Robert had
decided that if he went to college he could advance in
the field he loved and still have time to be a good
Witness.
Robert's father was the youngest in
a large family where everyone except him went to college.
The Depression hit just as he was to begin college.
Consequently, he envied his brothers' steady work with
good pay while he was often laid off from work and was
unable to meet his financial obligations. He was
determined that at least one of his sons finished
college.
None of Robert's brothers were
interested in schooling beyond high school, or had the
ability to survive in a college atmosphere. However, when
Robert's mother discovered his college plans, she forbid
him to enroll. Robert asked me to talk with her, which I
did, pointing out the Society taught that his father's
wishes should be obeyed. However, this dominate woman,
devout though as she was, was not interested in this
advise and was not ready to let her husband's desires
prevail in this situation.
Robert submitted to his mother,
never went to college, and is now in a semi-stable,
average-paying job far below his capabilities. During
most of the six years I knew him, I saw him as a lonely
somewhat depressed young man without goals or direction.
The attitude prevalent among many Witnesses then towards
both higher education and professional careers fosters
such unhappy persons.
Growing in the
Congregation
I gradually became aware of the
many interpersonal conflicts among the Witnesses,
problems that reflected the lack of education and
immaturity of the congregation leadership. I often
wondered how 'God's organization' could have so many
problems, and this realization was a major factor that
forced me to examine my view about the
Watchtower.
Resentment towards me by some local
Witnesses grew as I assumed leadership positions in the
congregation. Because of the problems in our
congregation, the circuit overseer removed several
Witnesses from their positions and I was appointed in
place of one of them. This caused resentment towards me
on the part of this person and his friends. They felt
that the circuit overseer had overstepped his bounds, and
was interfering where he didn't belong, bringing
'upstarts' (me) into the congregations' ruling
elite.
Interested primarily in doing the
best job I could, I was at first largely oblivious to
these criticisms. I often asked for constructive
criticism from the overseer. His visits to my book study
group, and meetings with me concerning my ministry school
duties were usually positive. I asked the overseer during
one of our meetings if it were possible for the book
study assignments to be rotated so that different
brothers could become acquainted. This suggestion was
adopted and, ironically, even further resentment towards
me was the result.
At this time, I began a master's
degree at the university to obtain my permanent teaching
certification. I had a great wife, was able to
successfully juggle a full teaching load, graduate
school, and my expanding ministry as well. Life then
seemed to be treating me well.
Then, after two years teaching in
one school district, I was laid off along with several
other new teachers when our school enrollment dipped. I
had just finished my master's work and was, therefore,
able to qualify for a position in research at the local
circuit court.
About this time the Watchtower
restructured the congregation organizational system,
installing the now 'to some at least infamous elder
system. Excited at this new opportunity to 'serve
Jehovah,' I talked to several brothers who were on the
recommendation committee to learn what I could do to
better prepare myself to be an elder. These brothers told
me that, on the whole, they were pleased with my work,
and encouraged me to keep up my good performance. They
constructively suggested only that I spend less time on
the review section of the book study and to tailor my
counseling to an individual's specific needs. I was
assured that I would be recommended and confident that I
would soon be serving the Society as an elder.
The new elders were announced
several weeks later, and I was not among them. Needless
to say, I and several others were disappointed, and we
asked for a meeting to learn why. None of the members of
the committee presented us with cogent reasons, and
several showed by their indifference that they were not
very concerned about our spiritual growth. My education
was clearly a concern (I was, though, appointed as a
ministerial servant).
The only reason I was given seemed
to me to be inconsequential and, frankly, trumped up as
an excuse. For example, I was told that some statements I
made were ridiculous such as in my voracious reading I
learned that chickens can actually run around for a time
after their heads were cut off. They concluded ideas such
as this was a result of the foolishness I learned at
college. The brothers were not interested in my
substantiation, which I later presented, and were unable
to show me how this related to being an elder. The
committee also complained that I sometimes did not arrive
early enough for the meetings. It was difficult for me,
my wife, and our baby to all get ready after I came home
from work. I later noticed that several of the elders who
were chosen came just as late (or even later) than I had
been arriving! If this was an important disqualification,
I should have been told of its importance so that I could
work on arriving earlier.
None of the other vague objections
were sufficient in my eyes to disqualify a person from
consideration as an elder. The most ludicrous reason
broached came from a brother who felt my wife exerted too
much control over me because she selected the clothes I
wore! As a good, dominant husband, I should be doing this
myself, they thought. (I am colorblind and my wife always
helped me to select clothes that match, an important
consideration, especially when one is going door-to-door
and wanted to make a good impression.) What could this
have to do with my role as the head of the
family?
If these matters were important,
why were they not brought up earlier? I asked the Witness
brothers for suggestions to improve long before the
appointments were made so as to be considered for more
responsibilities. It was convenient that these 'reasons'
were not brought up until after the elders were selected.
I did not then understand why some brothers resented me.
I later found out that one reason was they had been angry
since I had been installed by the circuit overseer in a
leadership position to help resolve the many problems in
our congregation. Why could they not forget the past and
work with me as a fellow worker for God's
Kingdom?
Gossip became rampant, and I found
that the elders were not uncommonly the cause of it.
Information that was confidentially related to an elder
was sometimes spread to the other elders and then,
eventually, to the entire congregation. This gossip
damaged many people personally and taught me that I could
not confide in the men that had been chosen for their
supposed spiritual maturity.
Other events soon followed that
fueled my disenchantment. For example, I was asked by my
Sister-in-law to officiate at her wedding. The elders
said that they would have to write to the Society before
they could give me permission (I have no idea why because
I was a ministerial servant). They later told me that I
did not have the permission necessary to perform the
ceremony. Then they later told me that I did have the
Society's permission to perform the wedding ceremony!
Although the elders told me that they had received a
letter of instruction from the Society each of the three
times they talked with me, I later found that the only
letter from the Society they had was the one received
just before they last spoke with me, the letter that gave
approval.
Boring
Meetings
A common complaint of outspoken
Witnesses concerns the many weekly meetings at the
Kingdom Hall. Honest and open Witnesses admit that most
meetings are incredibly boring. Since the Society is
concerned with absolute and complete obedience among its
followers, the meetings are often specifically geared to
drill their message into the faithful. In addition, those
Witness brothers who present the major portions of the
meetings are largely unschooled in theology and do little
original thinking concerning the message they present.
Consequently, their presentations are usually boring and
repetitive.
Once, when the stagnancy of the
meeting problem was brought to the elder's attention, a
solution was attempted. However, refusing to deal with
the material and its presentation, they blindly concluded
that the inattentive listener problem was due to the
awkward transitions between the various parts of the
meetings! I tried to argue that the main problem was the
content and delivery, not the transitions, but the elders
ignored my suggestions.
The rigidity and ignorance of many
Witness elders has fostered (and encouraged) many
problems among congregation members. At one elders'
meeting, it was decided that no brother of any age was to
go out in service alone with a sister of any age, no
matter what the circumstances. The elders literally
divided the Kingdom Hall into two separate Halls,
'female' and 'male.' The elder's discouraged association
between the sexes, yet not uncommonly accused Witness
males who spend too much time together of
homosexuality!
Another example of the elder's lack
of ability to deal with problems involved a thirteen year
old Witness sister. She touched a Witness male on the arm
and asked him how he liked another pioneer's motorcycle.
An elder noticed this touching and he admonished her not
to sexually tempt the young Witness. He stated that, as a
consequence of her touching him, the man may have become
'sexually aroused' and, as a consequence, might have a
'wet dream.' This young girl was naive regarding male
sexual responses, and the elder's warning confused her,
causing her to become apprehensive about her role as a
female and her own sexual feelings. This added to her
other problems; she eventually became more unstable, quit
school, and has since become very withdrawn. Fortunately,
she has a very understanding, non-Witness father who has
been able to help her to some extent.
A Witness grandmother went to see a
young Witness man (who had been like a son to her) who
was ill and despondent over personal problems. Grace (not
her real name) went into the young man's room to comfort
him and encourage him to join her in the Witness work
because she felt the contact with other people would make
him feel better (Grace was a regular pioneer for the past
four years and had brought many people into the 'truth').
In spite of her impeccable reputation in the
congregation, the elders used this innocent situation to
'investigate' her. The harassment disturbed Grace greatly
and her conflicts with them eventually prevented her from
pioneering.
Elders at times treated the sheep
very poorly and routinely looked to disfellowshiped
(expelling one from the church like excommunication) as
the solution instead of helpful encouragement for those
with problems. Rarely did the elders visit these persons
and 'disfellowshiped' became a convenient tool employed
by the elders to deal with members that have problems.
Rather than having compassion for Witnesses who had
difficulties, they were more apt to find an excuse to
disfellowship the unhappy member, conveniently solving
the elder's problem by doing nothing (but often
compounding the individual Witness's problems). I found
that a sincere intelligent expression of concern for
sinners is not common.
Once a concerned sister came to me
with a problem. She did not want to talk to the elders
because she was afraid that they would gossip about her
and may institute disfellowshiped proceedings. Mary (not
her real name) had a severe personality disorder that,
however, can be treated. She has a tendency to withdraw
from people and is unable to maintain her train of
thought for any length of time. When one talks to her,
her eye contact was erratic, indicating internal stress.
In addition, there are indications that she has a
fixation known as pedophilia. A pedophiliac tries to have
a sexual love relationship with a younger person, partly
because they are less of a threat and more likely to
become a willing victim because of naiveté. Mary
often visits younger brothers, associates exclusively
with them in the service work, and has had them in her
home many times. Although she does not directly admit to
these feelings, her behavior is typical of some
pedophiliacs I have worked with.
A pedophiliac can be dangerous when
the sexual love object is very young because the threat
of exposure can cause the deviate to kill the child.
Although I know of no evidence that she has a propensity
to violence to protect herself, I was especially
concerned because I worked with a case in my secular work
that eventually led to the murder of two people and the
maintaining of another to the extent that she will remain
a vegetable for the rest of her life.
I encouraged Mary to discuss her
problems with her elders. She reluctantly agreed, but
received no help from them. I later discovered that the
elders had tried to find enough evidence to have her
disfellowshiped, the very thing she feared most. When I
suggested to the elders that Mary needed professional
help, they criticized me for 'getting involved with her
problems,' and refused to discuss the situation. As far
as I know, she is not receiving any help, either from the
congregation or from professionals.
Another elder has a family member
who has been in serious trouble with the law. This man,
Steve, a former pioneer, recently received a twenty to
forty year sentence for murder and rape. He has three
prior felony convictions, and has been on probation
several times. The police investigation report stated
that he isa basically unstable person, whose inadequate
emotional life has given him a low tolerance level for
frustration and thus the likelihood that he could commit
other crimes of violence. All his defenses are
characterized by little or no insight or remorse and in
most cases by complete denial that he has committed
them.
It was recommended that 'a very
long period of incarceration is needed in order to
protect society from possible further sexual offenses . .
.' Steve was also involved in numerous previous offenses,
but each time was released because of insufficient
evidence. A committee that was formed in the community to
work for his removal stated, 'our children . . . are
never safe as long as men like him are loose.' Most of
his offenses are aggressive sexual offenses against young
children.
The elders did not at this time
promote the use of professionals to help Witnesses who
have severe emotional problems. One family of Witnesses
refused psychiatric help for one of their twelve
children, stating that it was 'against their religion'
and even denied that he had serious problems. The school
eventually transferred him to a center for mentally
retarded children because of his low IQ. Soon after the
boy was released from the home, one of his brothers
robbed a newspaper boy at gunpoint. The newspaper boy
identified the man, and he was arrested. His friends
rallied together and took it upon themselves to murder
the newspaper boy so that he could not testify at the
Witness boy's trial. The Witness mother evidently felt
that it was Jehovah's will for her son to go to prison so
that the inmates could hear the Witnesses' 'good news.'
It was well known both to the court and the neighborhood
that the family were Witnesses. What happened may have
been prevented if the elders promoted mental health in
the congregation and had taken it upon themselves to help
the family.
In my first months working for the
court, I was shocked to find out how many convicted
offenders were raised as Witnesses. I realized how high
the number was when I did a study on homicides, comparing
first- and second-degree murder cases. Among the
offenders I counted, only nine different religions were
represented. My statistics read as follows:
Total murders: Baptist 32.9%;
Catholic 18.6%; General Protestant 14.3%; Pentecostal
8.6%; Church of God 7.1%; Methodist 7.1%; Lutheran 4.3%;
Jehovah's Witness 2.9%; Presbyterian 2.9%; and no
religious affiliation 1.4%.
Other research indicates that the
level of offenders raised (or actively involved with)
Witnesses on parole from prison is around two to three
percent throughout the nation, partially confirming my
findings. Adjusting the figures for the general
population finds for first- and second-degree murders,
Pentecostals have 43 times as the murders as the general
population. Jehovah's Witnesses rank second, with 14.5
more murders than the general population. Baptist are
next with 2.63, followed by Church of God, 1.48;
Presbyterian, 1.38; Methodists, 1.6; Lutheran, 1.02; and
Catholic .80. For non-homicidal general crime, Jehovah's
Witnesses are number one, with 32.50 times the rate of
crime as the general population. Baptists are number two
with 2.96 times; and Presbyterians are next with
1.50.
These statistics upset me greatly.
I was still an active Witness then and when I completed
my report I tried to explain them away' by noting that
there was such a small percent of Witnesses in America
that even two murders could dramatically affect the
statistics, and that most of these were (obviously) not
exemplary Witnesses, at least when they committed the
crimes. Of course, the other small religious bodies could
make the same claim.
However, I realized that this was
not a totally adequate explanation. I was deeply
concerned that such a large number of people who were
raised Witnesses became criminals. I would have liked to
honestly state that people who were raised Witnesses, and
those associated with them, were not involved with
criminal activities as the 'world' does. Conversely, I
could not deny the results of my study.
The behavior by some Witness
parents gave clues as to why not just a few Witnesses
were maladjusted. For example, one elder told a mother
that she should put her young child in a chair and
require him to sit there for an hour as practice' for the
meetings. They advised the mother to spank him very hard
and require him to continue to sit in the chair' if he
got up. When this was tried, the child cried for over an
hour ± in my experience treatment such as this often
makes children more difficult to handle.
I have seen Witnesses' beat' on a
child that is little more than an infant with a tightly
rolled up Watchtower during the meeting. A favorite
scripture among Witnesses is the caution not to withhold
the rod and spoil the child', but they rarely quote the
scripture that states,'Fathers, do not be exasperating
your children' (Col. 3:21, New World Translation). It is
not rare for Witnesses to beat their children to the
point of physical harm. Psychological abuse is also a
problem, and seems to be one of the factors that produce
the high homicide rate among Jehovah's Witnesses, as well
as their high rate of mental illness.
Condemning the Mental
Health Profession
The Watchtower's long history of
wholesale condemnation of all psychologists and
psychiatrists is extremely damaging. I pointed out at an
elder's meeting that the May 12, 1963 Watchtower, p.
319-320 stated that it was proper for a Witness to be a
psychologist. The elders were skeptical ± they
believed I was wrong even after they looked up the
reference. They reasoned it may be ok to be one, just not
to go to a worldly one.
Witnesses as a whole were then very
negative regarding both psychology and psychiatry, an
attitude arrived at in complete ignorance of both fields.
Although I certainly do not agree with all that is taught
in these fields, I have found that my own study of the
mind reveals the marvelous laws that God internalized in
humans. He has created hundreds of other laws in all
areas of the physical universe, and is the creator of all
the laws of the human mind; we just discover them! I also
believe that the Bible has a great deal of counsel for
helping people with their problems. A therapist who has a
thorough command of the Scriptures is even better
prepared to help patients then one who does
not.
The Case of
Gail
Another case I observed vividly
illustrated the irresponsibility of the elders. A young
women pioneer in our congregation, Gail, began
manifesting several signs of incipient schizophrenia. She
tended to follow her own "private logic' in her thinking,
common to schizophrenia. There was a tendency for her to
isolate herself and develop peculiar mannerisms. Her
nonverbal communication was severely disturbed and she
had a tendency to react inappropriately to outside
stimuli.
As she became increasingly
withdrawn she developed obvious abnormal mannerisms. The
elders did spend many hours trying to help her, but their
'help' amounted to telling her that, to get well, she
should read the Bible and Witness literature more, and
also pray more. Taking heed of their admonition, she
prayed almost constantly, even carrying her Watchtower
around with her until it became ragged. The result was
little or no improvement. When I mentioned to the elders
that I felt she needed some type of professional help,
they severely criticized me for my 'interference'. The
elders stressed that's Christian (Witness) should never
seek any type of worldly counselor, especially
psychiatrists.'
Eventually, Gail's condition
worsened to the point that she became totally
non-communicative. She was now unable to attend
congregation meetings, could no longer read, had extreme
difficulty sleeping, and developed a mild astasia-abasia
condition. She repetitively waved her hand across her
face, attempting to cover up (or change) whatever she
hallucinated was in front of her eyes, and stared at the
ceiling for hours on end. At this time it was evident
that her condition was serious enough that she should
have the care of a professional. The elders then raised
the possibility that she was 'demonized', a suggestion
that caused more problems.
Not able to stomach anymore of the
elders irresponsible behavior, I attended a congregation
committee meetings to reason with them. I brought as my
'ammunition,' the March 8, 1960, Awake!, that stated, in
answer to 'should a Christian consult a psychiatrist?'
that 'The answer depends upon the circumstances and the
psychiatrist. Serious cases and mental balance or
breakdown of nerves may make it necessary to do
so'.
The chairman of the committee
stressed that they could not encourage Gail to consult a
worldly psychiatrist or any other worldly mental health
specialists. Ironically, this same elder once had serious
emotional problems and was greatly helped by a medical
doctor who specialized in psychiatry! This elder's own
brother (also a Witness) also developed emotional
problems, ran away from home and ended up in serious
legal trouble. As an obedient Witness then, I dropped the
matter.
Later, my mother-in-law talked to
Gail's mother who related that she was frightened by her
daughter's condition. Her symptoms indicated hebephrenic
schizophrenia, although she was also often catatonic.
Catatonia is a generalized inhibition of motor activity
and, at times, excessive motor activity is expressed in
contradistinction to stuporous behavior. The person may
sit or stand in one position for hours, seemingly not
paying attention to anything in the environment (Gail
spent hours staring at the ceiling in her room, not
moving or sleeping). Catatonia patients may develop
attacks of rage during which they, without warning, are
extremely destructive and may violently explode,
attacking people (as Gail did later).
My mother-in-law recognized the
severity of the problem in part because she had also
experienced some psychological problems when she was
younger. Another sister in the congregation, who had a
master's degree in psychology, felt as I did about Gail.
These two women contacted another Witness, a former
circuit overseer who had been helped after a nervous
breakdown by a psychiatrist. We all arranged a meeting
between Gail's mother and the Witness who had been helped
through therapy. He encouraged Gail's mother to obtain
whatever professional help she felt necessary and gave
her several recommendations for doctors and a book on
psychology.
The result was Gail's mother had
her committed. She was assigned a doctor who accepted her
religious involvement. Many psychologists are opposed to
all theistic religion, but many therapists can be of
immense help in restoring emotional stability. After less
than two months, she was permitted a home visit, and even
began attending meetings, something she had long been
unable to do. Although making good progress, the problems
she had were severe and would take years to treat. She
had been seriously ill for over a year without any
competent help or even much concern.
After further progress, Gail was
released and continued treatment on an outpatient basis.
When I commented on her progress, the elders responded
that it was not the psychologist who had helped her, but
the drugs that they were giving her! When I asked if they
knew what drugs were helping, they answered,'No, but we
know it was the drugs that helped her.'
Unfortunately, Gail's story did not
end happily. Once she returned to her family and the
congregation environment, her condition worsened. As a
temporary reaction to therapy, a catatonic schizophrenic
often externalizes problems in a manner opposite to their
previously internalizing them. During this temporary
reaction, Gail often seemed abrupt, outspoken, and
critical. Witnesses who did not understand her problems
responded very negatively, sometimes aggressively,
towards her. Shortly after she was released from the
hospital, one of the elders visited her family and began
speaking very negatively about several other Witnesses.
Gail became very upset, openly defending these brothers
and sisters, and told the elder in no uncertain terms
that he had no right to talk this way about other
Witnesses. The elder, the presiding overseer, retaliated
by convincing the committee to put Gail on probation and
revoking most of her congregational privileges! It was
publicly announced that she was not to commit at
congregational meetings, have parts in the Ministry
School or Service meetings, and could not participate in
other congregational affairs. They displayed no
understanding, concern, or empathy for her emotional
experiences and problems.
After another congregation heard
what had occurred, they threatened the first congregation
with exposure if they did not reconsider their actions.
Gail's privileges were then restored, but much of the
damage had already been done. When I talked to the family
two years later, I found that they had made progress
emotionally, but were very disenchanted with the Society.
In contrast, they had nothing but praise for their
psychiatrist. The psychiatrist was always helpful and
even offered to work with the elders to help the whole
family. Unfortunately, the elders wanted nothing to do
with them, causing the psychiatrist to develop a negative
attitude towards the Witnesses. The family now has
negative feelings towards all of the elders. One
said,'They did much more harm than good ... I'd never go
to them again for any advice.' Several in the family were
mentally ill, including Gail's mother and her sister (who
had spent 20 years in a mental hospital). Gail attended
Watchtower meetings for a few years, then left the
Witnesses. Most of her love for what she thought was the
truth is gone, and she is quite bitter. She has found a
Witness in another congregation that she can talk to, but
avoids most of her old friends from her local
hall.
Theological
Problems
One of the main reasons Jehovah's
Witnesses become discontented with the Society is that
they are very unhappy, spiritually, emotionally, and
intellectually. Some become aware of the problems in
Jehovah's Witness theology and are frustrated because
intelligent study brings them to the realization that
they cannot reconcile the Society's teachings with the
Bible. When they attempt to receive help from the elders,
they are often merely told not to 'question Jehovah's
organization'. Although a feeble attempt to answer their
questions may be attempted, this response usually forces
them to continue questioning at an increased tempo. And,
in time, the questions pile up so high that the dam
breaks, and they break free of the Watchtower.
This unhappiness is a major
motivator for a Witness to look elsewhere for a spiritual
home. The Scriptures promise us that 'Happy us the man
that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth
understanding . . . her ways are ways of pleasantness and
all her paths are peace. . .and happy is everyone that
retaineth her' (Proverbs 3:13-18, KJV). Sooner or later,
many Witness realizes that they do not have this 'wisdom
and understanding.'
Christians who are aware of this
can offer the kindness and concern that Christ said are
the identifying mark of a Christian. Christ eloquently
expressed this concern in the Sermon on the Mount. And
remember too the shepherd who left his other 99 sheep to
find the one lost sheep, rejoicing when it was found. By
showing genuine Christ-like concern and letting our light
shine, we can help those who are astray to find the peace
and happiness found only among those who have a personal
relationship with Christ and are free from the bondage of
man.
I have discussed here only a very
few of my experiences that eventually motivated me to
leave the Watchtower. On the basis of the events I have
recounted, and the other investigations I have competed
on the Watchtower, it should be clear to the reader that
God's Spirit is lacking in the Watchtower organization.
It was my direct experience, such as those events
recounted above, though, that caused me to question the
entire Watchtower system.
There are usually many factors that
motivates one to become involved with the Watchtower
± and, likewise, many that cause one to leave. It is
difficult in most cases to specify which reason is the
most influential. I have recounted several factors above
that were all important in my leaving. Although in the
above discussion I focused upon specific incidents and
attitudes that I found prevalent, studying about
Watchtower beliefs was likewise very important. Indeed,
extensive study of both Watchtower literature and that
written by outsiders has helped me to develop a balanced
perspective to evaluate their beliefs.
A factor that was influential in my
becoming a Christian was my association with scientists
involved in the creation movement. These individuals
possessed what I felt was a balance of faith,
intellectual drive, mastery of a scientific body of
knowledge, and a strong thirst for knowledge and
involvement in a creative quest to understand the world
around them. This was balanced with a mature spirituality
and concern for their fellow humans. They helped me to
see the difference between those who followed a set of
beliefs because of enslavement to an organization and
those who do so because of mature scriptural knowledge
and a personal relationship with Christ.
Association with these individuals
and a great deal of reading both have helped me to
realize that many Witnesses beliefs were poorly
researched and not in harmony with the Scriptures. In
addition, they helped me to realize that many ideas
perpetuated by the Watchtower were distortions, or openly
false teachings. The Society's tendency to interpret
simple Biblical phrases and expressions into a whole
myriad of types, anti-types, post-types, typical types,
double types, and other types of types that seemed way
beyond what the statement or passage warranted,
especially bothered me. From here questions arose, many
that were answered through prayer and a study of the
relevant Scriptures. This study led me to understand the
reasonableness of much of what I was formerly taught was
'foolishness'.
The control achieved by the
Watchtower organization is often through guilt and,
although this may be effective, it is not conducive to
peace of mind or to enabling one to enjoy true freedom in
Christ. When one has a developed sense of values based on
a thoroughly reasoned understanding of the Scriptures and
reality, one's life is guided by principles, not guilt or
fear of deviating into a direction that is often pictured
as tempting, but wrong.
During my times of questioning,
many Christians showed me much love and concern and
helped me to understand God's will through accepting
Jesus Christ as one's personal savior, and how to develop
a personal relationship with Him. My growth in Christ was
slow, but with the help of concerned Christians and God,
it has been steady. I had much indoctrination to overcome
in my over twenty years worth in the
Watchtower.
